To release

Deep deep wellows escape from the core of the earth

And vibrations can be felt only

By blind watchers

And deaf listeners.

It shakes their bones and rattles their vision.

Because the cries heard..

The wails of earths creatures, in a place created to be paradise.

Walls of sacred history tumble.

Long awaited answers left crumbling to time and neglet of the motherlands children.

Gaia cries, yet the rain still falls.

And life tries again.

And again and again and again.

Until we get it right.

As long as the sun still rises, we remain forgiven and loved.

And we give thanks to our lord above.

And below our feet

Where every souls body will meet.

When we return back to mother, when we go back to the earth.

Some may have bones left, some may have clothes. Some may leave a handprint engraved in stone

However some choose the living in which to stay behind.

To carry on lessons that are endless in time.

For that is real truth. Facts and things that do not change.

No matter the year. No matter the age

The angels came and sang it. The prophets came to teach. Some scholars tried to preserve it. So that generations of children it will reach.

And all man had to do is share.

With his fellows and his friends

To see a sister in all women and a brother in all men.

But because they failed to do that. And fear kills many a strong mans hearts.

The rivers start to blacken, the people have played their part.

And when the worlds new normal is madness and turmoil..

One has to wonder when one will ever make the change.

Stop suffering and try something new.

But you’re scared.

Terrified even.

To ever break free from the crowd.

To defy the worlds expectations

And follow your souls direction.

So deep deep wellows escape from the core of the earth.

They rattle your bones, they shake your vision

Because the wails of earths creatures can only be heard

By blind watchers and deaf listeners

And answers remain ignored by you as you pass by walls of history

Crumbling to the neglet of you, one of the motherlands children.

Land that was made for you to be paradise.

Yet the rivers still blacken. The streets run with plague. The greenery watered with grief filled rain.

The sun will still rise for you. Life will always try again.

Despite the pain, despite the pain, despite the pain.

I don’t believe God expects much from us.

I think they wish us well.

However everytime they come down or send us help.

We always turn it straight to hell.

They Grieved For You

When I remember my story, long ago.

When I was stuck in a place I did not know.

With dead eyes and an empty smile I told everyone all was well

Despite the agony and the place I stood was clearly hell.

When I had thought it was all I deserved.

As all things good in me had fully been purged.

I truly thought it was mine to have, me to blame.

That the place that I was at, is just as me as my name.

So looking back I simply can’t believe

That when I was lost with no more tears to conceive

When I was in my tomb, my world failing to be

There was still a world outside mine, shedding tears of grief for me.

And finally she wept

Because I can feel peace

watching sunlight filter through an empty glass

Because contentment sprinkles down my spine

as I stare at another unique sky.

Because I know I want more

of that nirvana, of heavens embrace

When I pray at my own temple

and offer chants only I can recognise

and answer.

Because there hasn’t been another soul. Who allows this feeling of safety

Like my own.

Security of my own aura in a busy crowd

Makes each one of my breaths easy

and tindged with gratitude.

Because I no longer become the hatred,

I just feel it.

How nice that I no longer fear that monster in me.

How miraculous that insanity became a language to translate

rather than a curse to bear.

That all that potential

can only start with me.

That if I choose a beggar life, then that is my prise not loss

Then that was my choice

Not fates.

My feelings

A torrent of energy that was once held back

by a dam made from demons

that once caused great floods of despair on my psyche.

Now creates a shield of light.

I have dug many channels, for those emotions to stream down.

That once dry, bereft land of my mind

Now watered and filled with light

Brings forth life into my garden

Seeds of greatness, of grand potential

Are finally able to sprout.

And when the flowers bloom and spring is finally here

Watch my person grow into heights that only Gods could ever fear.

Woof woof. Bitch

She was a mirage,

That me

That lived those years, with head bowed

a false smile and a beaten up center.

Such a loyal dog

I wasn’t even chained but I stayed at that spot. For years.

Allowing you to starve me, to leave me in the rain.

I enabled your monster to grow into a demon.

And I let myself stay as a lie.

Why?

For loyalty? For martyrdom? For validation?

That weakened state. That I allowed to claim herself as me.

Was nothing but a dream.

For when I woke

There was not a friendship deep enough

Nor a soul enchanting enough to lead me astray.

From my eternal goal of always keeping;

My dignity as a soul

My pride as a flawed human

My desire to break the cycle of mediocre niceness.

Of being a ‘good person’

What a joke

A laugh it gave me.

When others told me I looked prettier when there was a chain around my neck.

When life givers scolded me for not submitting like I had once used to do.

So easily. And willingly.

I laugh so hard, it brings hysteria.

That they would disapprove me,

When i freed myself from their entitled shackles

Looking at me like I should be ashamed

Just like I used to be.

Because I’m no longer that loyal dog.

Because I go to feed and free myself

Instead of being tied to that spot.

Where I was once starved and unloved but wanted for their selfish reasons.

And now they’re upset.

Because I’m no longer there

Waiting and willing to be sacrificed.

I’m running ignorant through the hills. Amongst the trees.

Watching running streams and rustling fields.

I’m awake at the midnight hour, howling at the moon.

While you’re sleeping through old nightmares.

That loyal dog was loyal because she wanted to be.

Home, routine and domestic niceties are enough to keep a pet leashed until their last breath.

But nothing can stop the wild.

You tried to break a puppy into servitude

Only to raise one hell of a lone wolf.

She’ll snarl and snap and bite. Unapologetically.

Because that collar suffocates her afterall.

And that tag with my name, had never belonged to you.

I respond to the wind. The whisper of the night. To the flow of ancient rhythms.

Not your broken, tired. Orders or commands.

I am the wild. Once tamed now free.

I feel natural.

Not guilty.

Hating Goodbyes

I am quite appreciative of lifes offerings.

I often fall in love with its dances.

Its people.

Its so pretty here. I love to play with the kind souls that accompany me on my journey.

The joy.

The laughter I experience.

Bubbling out from the depths of me.

How the clay of my expressions mold into a divine demonstration.

Of happiness. Of self expression.

It must be the divine dycotomy.

That on still days. Where the void calls.

Where I stand and turn, to face all I’ve left behind

I become weak and chained to every happiness I’ve kept dear.

I bleed memories, out and in, every tear.

Standstill. Stopped. Stationary.

In every gift you’ve ever given me.

It almost makes a monster out of me.

In a flash I regret your kindness. Your everlasting warming light.

It is far easier to leave pain and enemies behind, rather than you love.

Sometimes I hate that laughter and peace does exist still here, without you.

Why should I find it, in somewhere or someone else.

Why do I have to say goodbye to you.

When you still put so much meaning in every one of my hellos.

I can always taste. The last bite of the moment life is willing to grace me

Before I must once again fast.

I can always see the colour fade, before the moment where I must go find lifes new hues.

Feel the numbness before the time where I am bound to blossom and feel life in my veins once again.

I know the moment it slips away from me.

And I know how I must bid my farewells.

With grace and intergrity

With faith and love

And trust that we will one day unite under a different sun.

Still in my heart.

That little girl.

Stomps her feet. Crosses her arms. Looks at you with tear filled eyes.

And asks. Over and over again.

“Why do you have to go?”

Remembrance

Living on earth
I lost a friend
He was there throughout the darkness
And when I saw the light, he left.
I could not stay sad
For his memory was life itself
And I could not afford
To stay in grief
He paid his dues
So I must pay mine
To carry on his sacred flame
My life on earth
Is a sacred right.
I had forgotten but an old friend had retold.
When he came and stayed
Gave life to my heart
Then took his leave with my dead soul.

💙 love you bubs.

A woman knows…

A woman knows,

She is not just her body.

She is her children.

Her family.

She is home.

When suffering takes place in the heart of her people

She suffers with then.

She’ll hurt in mind

In body

In spirit

Until her people are all safe and sound.

Only then

Will she rest in peace.

They say a mothers work is never done.

Yes.

But she is always complete.

Feed the soul not the ego

Despite my hardness

And sharp edges.

Theres a softness in me.

That I felt, the moment it was planted.

It sparked.

And the light only keeps growing.

Illuminating dark corners

Transforming

Morphing shadows into dancing flames.

The further the light travels

The farther I can see.

At the other end I see myself

Excited and accomplished.

Free from all burdens.

And I feel that.

In the now.

Time and space fades into nothingness

The dream becomes a beautiful hallucination of the present.

There are no barriers.

Between the self here and there.

If I feel the torrent of emotions

That lie in the future

In the here and now

Then I have already achieved all that I desire.

We seek emotional fulfilment through things. Objects. Goals.

All for the emotional satisfaction.

The things will change.

The feelings will remain immortal.

I will feel first.

Then gratefully accept whatever life gives me in return.

For I knew true living

When I lived for my soul

Then my heart.

And then my mind.

What do you perceive?

Perfection

Dreams made true

Heaven on earth

Are such concepts truly understood?

It is said this life is one that had been abandoned by God.

We are the forgotten ones.

Left to fester and rot into unimaginable things

We are not loved by the universe, they said.

This is a cold existence

Where every man is for himself.

And if you are to reach mastery

If you are to reach glory and riches

You must first bleed

And scream

And suffer

Before you are granted such deliverance.

Not only this, but you must initiate through a particular path

If you choose any other

You fail to recognise life’s agenda

So you must be condemned.

Such beliefs rule these lands with an iron fist.

But there are many of us that have chosen a different route.

Despite the grief

Despite the judgement

Despite the pain

These beings live as if heaven has always been here.

Why and how?

What do they see?

They do all that they know and believe

They do it in their own particular way

If others choose to throw stones,

Then they choose,

to see their bruises as medals.

They choose to hear labels,

As a knighthood

They choose to live a life of light.

To those who ask them

They will hear,

A humility to their reasoning.

They are quiet souls with the spirit of fire

Actions that go unnoticed or ignored,

are strong enough to path spirals up mountains.

Is it a perfect life, if it is one without pain?

Is it a beautiful blessing, to not know true darkness?

Is it a path blessed by higher powers, if you know no obstacles?

We all are given

A wonderful gift in life.

It is a indescribable power.

One of which that is often given away if not understood.

We are the creators.

We create

Whatever hell or heaven

We choose to live in.

The I of which that speaks

For every one of us

Sees an entirely different translation

From the other.

How can we listen to one language

And expect the whole world to hear gospel

When ancient tongue

Rolls out our mouths

While we sleep walk.

What do you see

With your only I?

What does your solo self experience?

Do you hear music?

Or see art?

Are you living in a wasteland?

Do you see demons plaguing the weak?

What is your reality?

What are its laws?

Are you scared of it

Or Inspired?

I do not fear this land or its creatures.

I am at peace with its beasts.

Heaven or hell does not taunt me.

Death does not shake me.

For I was visited by the devil.

And I hated life

And this universe

When I saw that he was staring back through my reflection.

I created my own throne

In a hellish place

To sit in while I watched my life

Fall to pieces

Burn to ashes

And disperse in the wind

To nothing.

Then when the quiet had settled.

I planted a new seed,

to create my own garden of Eden.

The snake visits me often.

But so too do angels.

And I have found

That the duality of life.

Is quite glorious

And not as much of a curse

As I once believed.

I have not yet

Reached heavens gates.

But the view from here

Makes the journey quite worth it.

Now

Time swims by like the wind

clear, invisible

Love surrounds the present

Back towards the past, protective

Future created from thoughtful moments

Ever lasting paradise

all created by self.

Trod through hell and picked up my story

to tell to others,

so that they know that hellfire burns

from our hearts

and that heavens trumpets

resound from our soul.

Concious living is a treasure

Accidental existence is a punishment

for our absent minds

All of experience

sources from I

How you hold the pearl

is

your game to play.

I like to hold it to the sun

so that rainbows ripple over

its perfection.